Building Self Esteem in Children

Look At Your Child

It’s not easy to really see your child your vision is clouded by your hopes and fears. Your son might remind you of yourself or your life-partner or another child. When you are able to see your child accurately you’ll be rewarded with a relationship that is more enjoyable, with more reasonable expectations and less conflict. You will be contributing to your child developing good self-esteem.

Accurately seeing your children builds self-esteem in four ways:

First, you are able to recognize their unique abilities and talents to reinforce them, and help them recognize what is special about themselves.

Second, you are able to understand their behaviour in the context of who they are – you don’t misinterpret a natural shyness as being unfriendly, or a need for privacy as rejection. Seen in context, even negative behaviour is more understandable and predictable.

Third, seeing your child accurately helps you focus on changing only the behaviour that is important to change – behaviour that is harmful to them socially, or behaviour that is disruptive to the family.

Fourth, children who feel that they are really seen and understood by their parents cannot afford to be authentic. Such children don’t have to hide parts of themselves because they feel being rejected. If you can accept all of your child, the good and the bad, your child can accept himself, look to you and align to more positive acceptable aspects…

This is the cornerstone of good self-esteem.

( Excerpts from ‘Building self esteem in children’ by R N Judith McKay )